Sand Hill Shuffle
Sand Hill Shuffle
Sand Hill Shuffle
“I’ll never forget the first time I met Peter. It was at his mom’s garage where we started our first business together – manufacturing VGA graphics cards for IBM clones. We never looked back, and you know the last time I saw him? It was at a restaurant, not a half mile away from that same garage. We talked, as old friends do. He asked me about Jackson Hall, I asked him about… pilates, and yet, something was wrong. Underneath it all, there was an unmistakable tension, a tension I will forever regret. So secret Peter and I had out differences. We let business get between us, and now? Now I wish I could say I was sorry for that, but its too late, he’s gone. And it makes me realize the importance of forgiveness, of doing things with love and compassion in your heart, and not vengeance and competition. I mean we owe that to each other, don’t we? And to him? After all, this Valley is the place Peter himself helped build. Where we come together, as dreamers, all of us, to truly make the world a better place. This is Florence during the Renaissance, this is Camelot, this is the place Peter himself called “The Cradle of Innovation.” I will miss my friend. Bye Pete.”— Gavin Belson speaking at Peter Gregory’s funeral’Sand Hill Shuffle’ is the first episode in Season 2 of the HBO series Silicon Valley, and the ninth episode overall. It originally aired on April 12, 2015.
The Pied Piper guys are wined and dined by every venture capitalist under the sun, while Monica adjusts to a new managing partner at Raviga as the company faces major changes.
Pied Piper learns of Peter Gregory’s death in a safari accident in the Serengeti, leading to questions about Raviga Capital’s viability as an investor for their Series A funding. With this uncertainty, Bachman and Hendricks pitch Pied Piper to numerous venture capitalists who are trying to woo them. They find that being rude leads to better reception, to Bachman’s surprise. Meanwhile, Raviga’s partners select Laurie Bream as their new managing partner, whose eccentricity resembles Peter Gregory’s.
Monica learns that Pied Piper is the firm’s only hope for survival. The firms deliver their term sheets and just as Bachman selects a firm, Bream and Monica arrive to deliver Raviga’s term sheet – $20 million at a $100 million valuation, the highest. They are about to accept it when Monica sneaks by after hours to warn Hendricks against taking a high amount, saying that if the company cannot increase their valuation, they will not be able to secure further funding. At Peter Gregory’s funeral, Bream approaches Hendricks and asks if he has made a decision.
Hendricks says that he will choose Raviga if they lower their term sheet to $10 million at a $50 million valuation, a move Bream is surprised by but accepts. The funeral is attended by many, including the founders of Snapchat and Gavin Belson. As Belson speaks about his relationship with Gregory, Hendricks receives a message informing him that Hooli is suing Pied Piper for theft.
- Alexander Chaplin as Venture Capitalist
- Aly Mawji as Aly Dutta
- Charan Prabhakar as Javeed
- David Rees Snell as Ross Loma Capital Executive
- Brian Tichnell as Jason
- Tyler Beede as Himself
- Mark Bloom as Wood Opal VC
- Diane Chernansky as Heidi Evans
- Taylor Coffman as Marketing Executive
- Bruce Robert Cole as Medoa VC
- John Colella as Coleman Blair VC
- Skyler Blaine Ewing as Himself
- Jeff Holman as George Silver
- Bella Pope as Nicole Stein
- Pete Punito as Thornston Graves VC
- Justin Rosenstein as Himself
- Evan Speigel as Himself
- Cameron Winklevoss as Himself
- Tyler Winklevoss as Himself
- Richard: [attempting to be negative] So, with some proper funding, we should be able to get a functioning beta in time for CES. And if you don’t fund us, you’re a fucking slut. Ah. What’s that smell? Is that a fart? You Are you a farter? Now, can I have a pastry? Or are you guys gonna eat ’em all? ‘Cause you’re gonna get fat.
- Erlich: Your muffins smell like shit, so do your ideas. One of you is the least attractive person I’ve ever seen, and I’m not going to say who.
- Erlich: It’s that painting behind you. It’s awful. It looks like harlequin Kama Sutra done poorly.
- Erlich: Well thank you for meeting with us. We have a bunch of these things to go to, hopefully with more tasteful artwork, and your logo looks like a sideways vagina. I find that to be racist, don’t you?
- Erlich: Okay, here’s my concern Here’s my concern Who the hell picked out that shirt for you? – What? – Oh, I see. With the pants, so I guess it’s a whole – thing.
VC: My wife picked these out.
Erlich: Then you married poorly.
- Erlich: In fact, what I think I’m seeing is the human equivalent of a “flaccid” penis.
Richard: Flak-sid. It’s actually pronounced flak-sid. Not a lot of people know that.
- Erlich: Shit, they were negging us.
Erlich: Negging is going negative. It’s a manipulative sex strategy used by lonely chauvinists.
- Gavin: That was horrible. I just got humiliated by a fucking teenager at TechCrunch Disrupt, and you give me this tampon ad?
- Gavin: Data creation is exploding. With all the selfies and useless files people refuse to delete on the cloud, was created in the last two years alone. At the current rate, the world’s data storage capacity will be overtaken by next spring. It will be nothing short of a catastrophe. Data shortages, data rationing, data black markets. Someone’s compression will save the world from data-geddon, and it sure as hell better be Nucleus and not goddamn Pied Piper! I don’t know about you people, but I don’t wanna live in a world where someone else makes the world a better place better than we do. [leaves]
Marketing Executive: Data-geddon. Is he married to that, or? There’s just been a lot of “geddons” lately.
Heidi: That’s true. “Snow-mageddon”, “Car-mageddon”.
Marketing Executive: There’s that movie “Armageddon”.
- Monica: He was in the Serengeti on safari and he had just gone into his tent when a hippo wandered into the camp.
Richard: Oh, wow.
Erlich: He was attacked by a hippo?
Monica: No, I guess the hippo started to charge when the guide grabbed his rifle and shot at it, but his aim was off, and…
Richard: And he shot Peter Gregory by accident?
Monica: No, he he missed, but I guess the sound of the gun startled Peter, who ran out of his tent and…
Richard: Ran right into the hippo?
Monica: No, the hippo was also startled by the noise and had run off prior to Peter exiting his tent.
Erlich: So, what happened to Peter?
Monica: He hadn’t run in a long time, maybe ever, and you know, he just… that was it.
- Dinesh: We’re standing on the field of the World Series champions.
Gilfoyle: It’s totally lost on me.
Dinesh: Yeah, I don’t give a shit, either.
- Erlich: If you can’t enjoy this many people kissing our ass at this level, then I feel sorry for you. Would you just relax and take it in for a second. I mean, we’re getting our dicks sucked at the AT&T Park!
- Gilfoyle: I’m the CTO.
Dinesh: Er, he’s joking. I’m the CTO.
Gilfoyle: Fuck you I’m joking.
Dinesh: OK, how could you be Chief Technology Officer?
Gilfoyle: I get it. You hear the word “chief” and you think “Indian Chief”, but you’re the other kind of Indian.
Dinesh: OK, one – Fuck you, I’m Pakistani, and two – How could you be CTO of anything? You have to be able to organize, you have to be able to delegate, you have to…
Gilfoyle: I delegate you to go get me a fucking beer while I talk to Nicole. [Turns around to see that Nicole has left them and instead a man is watching them argue]
- Erlich: It’s not your fault Richard, it’s just something that can’t be taught, so leave the next one to me. I can feel a big one coming up.
Richard: So what are you going to do?
Erlich: I’m not sure yet, but give me room. There’s something inside of me that has to come out, and who am I to stop it.
Dinesh: His balls?
Gilfoyle: He put his balls on the table?
Richard: Right on the table.
Dinesh: On purpose?
Richard: I don’t see how it could be by accident.
Erlich: Richard, I just got an email from the guys at Midland Oak, apparently there is a line, and I crossed it. The line between 12 and 15 million dollars! BA-BAM!
- Richard: Remember when you told me to come back when I had more? And then I said I would? Well, I’m not going to. Ever. This doesn’t count. I’m covered in dust. I’m a three-foot dick, and I’ve got half an ass to go to some other company who’s never gonna put me on a Jumbotron or throw balls at me. Bye.
- As of this episode, Matt Ross (Gavin Belson) and Jimmy O. Yang (Jian Yang) are both promoted to starring cast members,
- Big Head doesn’t appear in this episode.
- The epsiode title, “Sand Hill Shuffle”, is a reference to Sand Hill Road, an arterial road in Menlo Park, California, notable for its concentration of venture capital companies.
- There was a deleted plot-point after the scene where Richard meets Javeed for drinks, where Richard calls an Uber and it turns out that Javeed is the driver.
- Ehrlich’s shirt says 01000010011010010111010001100011011011110110100101101110. This is “Bitcoin” in binary.
- In the 67th Primetime Emmy Awards (2015), Mike Judge was nominated for “Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series” for the episode “Sand Hill Shuffle”, but lost to Jill Soloway for Transparent.
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Sand Hill Shuffle